luminescent
by saintkillua
Summary: to Killua, the definition of light wasn't something you'd read in a book or teach your kids. it was Gon.


**title: **luminescent**  
>pairing: <strong>kirugon/killugon (what's the actual ship name? we just don't know.)**  
>word count:<strong> 1,268**  
>disc: <strong>i don't know hunter x hunter & i don't own the characters. i also don't own the quote, that's from firefly. enjoy!

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><p><em>"When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that ... you find someone to carry you."<em>

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><p>Gon had overdone it. <em>Again<em>.

Killua shifted his hips a bit to reposition Gon on his back. The tanned boy was currently knocked out after a rather grueling training exercise executed by Bisky. Killua _knew _Gon was going to run himself into the ground even before the old hag was done explaining what she had in store for them. He had that stupid, shining look in his eye and Killua knew that look anywhere. _That_ look meant Gon wasn't going to give up, and at some point Killua would either have to stop him or drag his unconscious body back to camp.

The silvered haired youth sighed to himself before closing his eyes. He could feel Gon's breath against his throat and it made him shiver. Maybe carrying Gon on his back wasn't the greatest idea, but he sure as hell wasn't going to carry the boy in his arms. Besides, piggy backing had never really been a problem before.

He actually didn't mind carrying Gon. In fact, a part of him enjoyed being this close with Gon, being able to touch and hold Gon. Killua knew as long as he had Gon like this, nothing would happen to him - _he_ would keep Gon safe. Gon fully awake and marching around on his own, that was a different story. That Gon needed to be watched carefully, sometimes even thumped on the forehead for doing reckless things, things that made Killua worry and wonder if his best friend was entirely sane or not. An awake Gon with a sense of purpose and a goal in mind was someone else entirely. That Gon was stubborn, argumentative, and hellbent on getting himself killed. Killua sighed and reopened his eyes. He didn't realize how exhausting it was to have friends. If he had known maybe he would have avoided the green clad kid with the luminescent smile all together.

The moon was glowing brightly and illuminated the area around them. He could make out the stars perfectly as they stretched on farther ahead of them. Killua had once compared Gon to the sun, because he shined so brightly and fiercely, but maybe that wasn't quite right. Maybe Gon was the moon, providing light when there wasn't supposed to, providing _him _light when he wasn't quite sure if he deserved it. Killua wasn't meant for the light, he was some foul product of darkness thanks to his perpetually screwed up family. He was a shadow, something of _nightmares_ while Gon was everything light and positive and warm. His smile was the sun, his eyes were the stars, and his whole being was the moon, guiding Killua through the dark. Gon had become the impossible to him, which both scared and enthralled him.

Thinking about it made his stomach tighten and Killua shifted Gon's position again. He wasn't sure when he started thinking of Gon as his light - maybe it had always been that way. Gon had just sort of slipped under Killua's guard, and he had accepted it. It wasn't like he could do much about it. He could leave Gon or kill him, but Killua had no intention of doing either. He was stuck where he was.

Well. Maybe not stuck.

_Maybe_ he was right where he needed to be. Standing and fighting by Gon's side, protecting Gon, arguing with Gon, having fun with Gon - maybe that was his purpose. Like Gon's purpose was to find his dad, or Kurapika's purpose was to avenge his clan, or Leorio's purpose was to become a doctor. Killua's purpose was to be friends with Gon. Killua's purpose was Gon.

Gon breath on his neck plus his heartbeat steadily thumping against his back made Killua's stomach flutter pleasantly. _These_ feelings were recent, the light headed feelings that made Killua dizzy, made him feel like his whole body was tingling. It started out small - Killua blushing and snapping whenever Gon said something embarrassing about their friendship (which happened more often than Killua liked). He wasn't used to hearing stuff like that, he wasn't used to someone caring. His family had their own twisted, abusive, _sick_ way of caring, but Gon's way was different. It was pure and real, it was something Killua would probably never get accustomed to. Gon also had absolutely no shame and always spoke his mind, yelling about how Killua was his best friend and how glad he was the former assassin accompanied him. This usually left Killua blushing profusely and calling him an idiot and nine times out of ten, Gon would whine about Killua being mean before the matter was forgotten. That is, until Gon started back up again and the cycle would repeat itself. He sent a sideways glance to the unconscious boy and softly smiled. Even though he wasn't quite used to it, he liked being cared for - being needed. It was nice.

Gon suddenly made a small noise and Killua shifted his head to get a better look at him. The dark haired boy groaned before digging his face into the back of Killua's neck. The paler boy's face immediately began to heat up as Gon slowly opened his eyes.

"Killua?"

Killua swallowed thickly and turned his head to face forward again. They were almost back to camp, and Killua felt a mixture of relief and disappointment.

"Look who's finally up." He paused before a small, cat like grin spread across his face. "Idiot."

"Killua! That's mean!" Gon was fully awake now and pouting at his best friend's choice of words.

Killua's grin only grew and he purposely bounced his arms to shake the newly conscious boy. Gon's eyes widened and he wrapped his arms around his friend's shoulders to keep himself from falling off.

"Killua!"

Gon's whining prompted Killua to stop and he chuckled as the boy slowly relaxed before resting his chin on Killua's shoulder. His face, which had almost regained it's natural color, quickly began to reheat and Killua tilted his head upward so Gon wouldn't noticed.

"Thanks for carrying me!"

Killua winced at his friend's volume before rolling his eyes.

"Shut up, it's nothing."

Gon gasped and shook his head.

"No, I mean it! I really appreciate Killua carrying me back!"

Killua grit his teeth and quickly looked to the right to avoid looking at his friend. If his face got any hotter he was sure it'd burst into flames.

"Baka."

Gon retaliated by shoving his knee into Killua's side. The blue eyes boy snorted at his friend's lame attempt at hurting him and shifted Gon's position again.

"Stop, or I'll drop you."

Gon laughed loudly in his ear before grinning brightly.

"Killua would never drop me! But I think I can walk now." He lifted his head to look at his friend better.

Killua briefly entertained the idea of putting Gon down. It would make walking easier and Killua had a better chance of hiding his red face but there was a part of him that was adamantly against putting the boy down. Unconsciously, Killua tightened his arms around Gon's thighs.

"Yeah, probably."

Neither boy moved, except for Killua's continued footsteps towards their camp. It was quiet for a minute and Killua's heart beat furiously against his chest. He waited for Gon to insist on being put down, but the dark haired boy said nothing. Instead, he hummed contently before questioning Killua about what happened after he blacked out. Slowly, Killua's face and heartbeat returned back to normal and the intense moment passed as he spoke. Ahead of them, Bisky chuckled to herself before shaking her head.

_They really do make the perfect team._

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><p><em>author's note: <em>i haven't written anything tangible since i was in high school, good lord, (i'm 21 lmao) so i know i'm rusty as hell. also, i know how played out the whole gon being compared to light/killua being compared to darkness thing is but i. don't. care. it's the oldest trick in the book and i love it. so dumb. excuse the shitty title i suck at coming up with titles blehh. thanks for reading, yo!


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